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Don't be alarmed. You have already proven you are smarter than most humans by recognizing your (comaparative) intellectual limitations. The true (secret) purpose of our school has nothing to do with dog training; it's about brainwashing humans into thinking they are in control of their dogs. Since you obviouly have a genius level IQ let's be frank. About all you can do is manage the problem by becoming a nicer and more interesting human and hope your dog recognizes the effort. If so, he may actually throw you a bone from time to time, and listen to what you have to say. That's the true curriculum: Teaching you to be nice to your dog. The idea of controlling your dog is an illusion, but we are pretty good at fooling people into believing it.
If that happens, you're in big trouble Missy. You go to the back of the class with a dunce cap. Your dog gets a mild rebuke for having such a stupid owner. So, if you get the urge to eat your dog's homework, please be sensible and eat a shoe or chew up a roll of toilet paper instead.
Maybe, but he may need to be streamed into our dog ESL course, unless he is really smart. Better still, why don't you improve your own intellect by learning dog Spanish? You would no longer have to use ridiculous gestures to communicate with your own dog and you could strike up interesting conversations with Mexican street dogs while on vacation there.
This is a private dog school, so the EQAO does not apply. Suffice to say our students consistently rank well above public schools. As a matter of fact, we rank in the top 1%.
If barking, pulling your arm off while walking, and peeing on your rug constitute 'spirit' then most definitely. Otherwise no.
In most cases yes. Transgender dogs are welcome, but must be accompanied by a transgender person only. This is to prevent the dog from having gender identity issues during teacher-parent night. On the other hand, a gay or lesbian dog can be accompanied by a transgendered straight person but not a transgendered gay person. Then you have the case of transgender straight, but neutered dog, which (obviously) must be accompanied only by a lesbian person. Get it? It all makes sense if you think about it. Suffice to say, we try to embrace diversity as much as possible, while still keeping the dog's emotional well being in mind.
Technically no. However, there have been instances where some cats dressed up as dogs and nobody was the wiser. So, as so long as your cat looks like a dog, walks like a dog, and barks like a dog there is nothing much we can do to stop you. Just bear in mind, graduates are only given dog diplomas, which are not recognized at cat colleges.